


You're Safe Now

by Angel_made_of_scars



Category: Supernatural
Genre: I'm not proud of this story anymore, M/M, Why did I even put that?, rape mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-03-29
Packaged: 2018-01-17 10:05:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1383475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_made_of_scars/pseuds/Angel_made_of_scars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The brothers find Cas, cold, hungry, and dirty, in an alley. They help him start to feel better, although one brother a little more then the other. I wrote this a long time ago, before season nine even aired. Sorry for the lameness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, years later me here. I'm not proud of this story anymore and it's written pretty poorly, from the days when I just started writing and loved angst. Maybe if you want a good angst story, check out my more current stuff instead? I don't feel like deleting this but... I mean I wouldn't show it off. Continue if you want.

He was scared. Scared and hungry and cold. He slowly limped away from the dumpster, knowing he would not find a meal tonight. Not many people came to a Chinese restaurant when it was cold and wet. And that meant no leftovers thrown away. He limped away, feeling the rain start to fall again. He moved two trash cans beside each other and stacked the lids in between as a roof. He had searched for so long. But no money, clothes, or shelter had stopped him from hope of finding Sam and Dean. He knew he had healed Sam. It was his last act before the fall. He quietly pulled his trench coat from behind him and sat on it so he wouldn't be as wet from the relentless rain. He gingerly pulled his knees in closer, keeping them dry as the rain started to pour harder. So far the only thing he had was one new pair of clothes. A kind women had given him a blue t-shirt and some grey cargo pants, while another kind stranger, a man this time, had given him a swampy green t-shirt and a white button up shirt. Eventually he received things like bottles of water and a burger from the two who had gotten to know him. One day they even gave him a wine colored hoodie. He had always put on every clothing item he got as a thanks, saying he would someday try to repay them, although they always said that they wouldn't take that. The nicest thing anyone on the street had done though was another homeless man. He had been watching for months and had enough to survive, and decided to buy a dark faded blue jacket and a pair of hiking boots for him. He had become close friends with the man, until he got beaten to death by a gang looking for drugs. That was when he swore, no more attachments.  
One week later was when he got his biggest surprise yet.  
"Sam we've looked everywhere. I need sleep. We can't keep looking 24/7! You need rest!" he heard from a voice he was sure was Dean.  
"Sam..." he muttered, crawling out from behind the trash cans. The two turned their heads and Sam froze in what seemed like complete shock. Immediately he ran towards where Cas was sitting on the ground, while Cas was dragging himself up, but falling back from dizzyiness.  
"Cas? Is that you?" Sam choked out.  
"It's me Sam. Dean it's me. You found me." He choked out, bursting into tears. Sam instantly dropped to his knees and hugged him as tight as he could.  
"I've got you now, your fine. We'll never leave you again ok? Your gonna be fine now." Sam whispered, rubbing his back.  
"Cas... It is you..." Dean said finally, dropping down and hugging him tightly.  
"Cas we're gonna take you back to the bunker and get you cleaned up ok?" Dean stuttered, quickly wiping his eyes.  
"Thank you..." he choked out, still sobbing. Dean looked behind the trash cans and pulled out his suit, tie, shoes, socks, and coat, and carried them in one arm while supporting Cas with the other. Sam half carried, and half let him lean on him as they walked to the car.  
"Sam? Can you sit back here?" Cas asked, starting to cry again. Sam instantly moved from his spot in the passenger seat to the back, buckling Cas and covering him with his dry jacket. Cas snuggled closer to it, starting to be comforted by it, as he could smell Sam on the jacket.  
"I never stopped looking Cas, day and night we were following tips. I never gave up. I knew you survived." Sam said quietly, hugging him tighter. Dean jumped in the car and started driving to the nearest Burger King as Cas started crying again. Sam just rubbed his back repeatedly, saying it was ok and he was with them now. Dean had suspected that Sam may have had a slight man crush on Cas from the beginning, but he was starting to wonder if it was more than that. As soon as they were at Burger King Dean ordered twelve triple-stacked burgers with just bacon and cheese, twelve orders of fries, and two liters of soda. It cost alot but they were able to pay and get back to the bunker ok, although Cas had already eaten two.  
"Sam! I can't... I need to be carried..." Cas admitted sadly.  
"What's wrong?" Dean asked, getting out and carrying the multiple bags of food, even though he would need to make another trip.  
"I... I can't walk... I don't want to get dizzy..." He admitted. Sam didn't ask as he put Cas' old clothes in Cas' lap and pulled him into his arms with little effort, which worried him even more. Once they were inside, Sam carried him up to his room where he laid Cas on his bed, and walked into the bathroom, turning on the bath water and plugging the drain. He poured bubble bath into the tub, and then walked back to Cas.  
"You need a bath ok? Don't worry about anything, I'll take care of it." Sam assured him as he pulled his jackets and shirts off. He instantly gasped in shock at the sight. Cas was no longer muscle but bones. He was skinny and his ribs were showing, and he could see bruises.  
"I'm ok Sam, it'll heal now that you found me." Cas said confidently. Slowly they took off his shoes, then his socks.  
"Cas? Want more burgers buddy?" Dean asked gently, walking through the door.  
"No thank you Dean. Thank you for getting them for me. Can I have some later?" Cas asked quietly.  
"Yeah... Sure you can..." Dean smiled, walking out. Sam awkwardly gestured to Cas' pants, and Cas limped into the bathroom. After managing to take them off, and putting them with his other clothes, he gently slid into the water.  
"You good?" Sam called.  
"Yes, I am covered with this these bubbles now." Cas answered.  
"Ok, I'm coming in then." Sam said, walking into the bathroom. As soon as he found the soap he put it on a cloth and rubbed it on Cas' arms, then gently tried to wash under his arms, before deciding that Cas should finish up instead.  
"Hey Dean? Can you throw his clothes in the wash?" Sam asked, tossing the clothes into the hall. After a few minutes of Cas washing off, Sam realized he probably should wash his hair too.  
"Hey Cas? You do know how to wash your hair right?" Sam asked.  
"No... I don't-" he stuttered, before going into a coughing fit. Sam quickly grabbed a cup off the sink, filled it with water, and handed it to him, watching as he gulped it down quickly.  
"Thank you Sam." He said bashfully.  
"Hey no problem... I'm just glad your back..." Sam said smiling. They sat in silence for a minute before Sam took the empty cup and turned on the warm water in the tub.  
"Sam? What are you doing?" Cas asked helplessly.  
"Don't worry, I'm just gonna wash your hair for you." Sam said quickly, putting a hand against Cas' forehead.  
"Whoa! Dude your burning up!" Sam said shocked.  
"After this I'm gonna have to get you some medicine. Now close your eyes, and tilt your head back." Sam said lightly. Slowly he poured the water over Cas' hair, and started to rub the shampoo in. He was actually surprised that his hair hadn't grown much. And he barely had any hair on his face. Then again, he didn't eat much, so it probably had something to do with that. After another shampoo layer, and some conditioner, he handed Cas a small mirror and a razor, then turned on the water and added more bubble bath.  
"Alright, just shave and then you can get out ok?" Sam said, handing him the shaving cream. After ten minutes he was finally ready to get out.  
"Sam? Can I get out now?" He asked quietly, wiping his face with the cloth again.  
"Yeah, sure Cas, dry off while I go find some extra clothes for you. As he walked out of the room he realized Dean would have a complete bitch-fit if he touched his clothes, so instead he pulled out an old black t-shirt of his that was too small for him.  
"Dean? Cas needs clothes, can he wear some of your..." Sam stopped awkwardly.  
"He wears them, he keeps them!" Dean yelled back. Sam just laughed and went to deans room, pulling out three pairs of white boxers and a pair of flannel grey jogging pants he never wore. Walking back in his room, he shut his eyes and put the clothes in the bathroom, leaving the boxers under the pants so he wouldn't embarrass himself even more. Next he went to his closet and pulled open an empty drawer. He figured when they found Cas, he could stay in his room, and Sam would take the couch every other night, switching with Dean. He carefully put a few more t-shirts, the boxers, a pair of socks, and some flannel dark green plaid pajama pants into the drawer.  
"Sam? Can I wear those pants instead? These are scratchy." He said sadly, pointing at the drawer.  
"Sure buddy, here." Sam said smiling, handing them to him. Carefully he slipped them on, handing the others to Sam.  
"Come here, take this." Sam said, handing him the pills.  
"You swallow them with water." He explained. After he took the pills, he sat down on Sams bed cautiously.  
"Am I sick?" Cas asked in a quiet voice.  
"Ah- Cas, no, I mean it's just a cold, it'll be gone once you get some sleep, but it's nothing to be worried about." Sam explained, sitting down beside him.  
"Come on, lay down, you need to rest." Sam said, breaking the silence as he started to leave.  
"No- I mean- can you stay? I feel slightly... Odd..." He stuttered.  
"Your... Lonely?" Sam asked slowly. Cas nodded sadly.  
"Yeah... Sure- let me go tell Dean." Sam said quickly, rushing downstairs.  
"Dean? Ok not one word. Cas wants me to stay with him tonight, so, that's where we're at, ok?" Sam asked embarrassed.  
"Yeah- about that... If it makes you guys happy... I'm cool with your whole dating thing." Dean said, opening a beer.  
"What?!- We're not- Why would you- You know what? Nevermind." Sam said, quickly going back upstairs before Dean could respond.  
"Cas? I'm back-" Sam was cut off as he saw Cas already had his eyes shut.  
"I'm not asleep, come in." Cas muttered. Sam quietly walked in, shutting the door and sitting down on the bed beside him. They sat in silence for ten minutes before Cas started shivering.  
"Cas? You ok?" Sam asked.  
"Yeah... Just c-cold..." Cas shivered.  
"You need a blanket?" Sam asked bashfully.  
"Can you- Actually- Yeah, a blanket is fine." He stuttered, turning away.  
"What is it?" Sam asked nervously.  
"Nothing..." Cas said, turning over. After another few minutes Cas sat up frustrated.  
"I can't sleep Sam! Out... Out on the street... You learn to stay awake... You have to stay on guard at all times... I can't go to sleep..." He admitted.  
"Ok... But Cas, your safe now." Sam said quietly.  
"But I don't feel-" Cas started, stopping with guilt.  
"Cas, your safe now." Sam said smiling, pulling him into a hug. Cas slowly stopped shivering and put his head on Sams chest. Once Sam realized he had no plans of backing up, he lifted his head, and Cas copied him. He quickly put a large pillow under his head, and pulled it down so the other end was under Cas' head.  
"Thank you Sam..." Cas said bashfully.  
"No problem Cas, but your safe now, so go to sleep." He whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

"Sam? Sam wake up!" Cas said quickly, shaking his shoulder. Sam bolted upright, panting slightly, and looking around frantically.  
"Cas?! Is Dean ok?!" Sam panted.  
"Yes, Dean is fine, but I don't believe you are." Cas said quickly.  
"No, I'm fine, just a dream..." He said quietly. He had to do a double take after realizing how rough Cas' voice was after waking up.  
"I'm gonna go for a jog." Sam said, getting up out of the bed.  
"But Sam, it's foggy and everything looks white still. Why would you go out so early?" Cas asked confused, tilting his head to the side.  
"Have you never been out in the morning?" Sam asked, taking off the red plaid shirt he fell asleep in. Cas stared for a minute, before Sam looked back over his shoulder in amusement, making Cas blush and look away.  
"I have, just not as a human. Well, except for in the alley." Cas admitted.  
"Here, put on these." Sam said, handing him a pair of small gym pants.  
"Who's are they?" Cas asked.  
"I actually... I got you some clothes while we were looking for you... Just in case we found you suddenly..." Sam said quietly. Cas thankfully took the pair of pants and replaced the flannel ones with them, then watched as Sam put on a similar pair of gym pants, more grey in color, and a white tank top. Cas slowly mimicked him, taking off his black t-shirt and looking around for a shirt. Sam laughed and pulled out a grey t-shirt, that had no sleeves, but wasn't as tight and showing as the tank top.  
"Come on, I wanna show you something." Sam said, pulling him out of the room. Quickly, Sam put a note on the fridge, saying that they went for a jog and to make some pancakes. Cas smiled slightly before Sam pulled him out the door. Cas looked in awe at the slowly falling autumn leaves, that were red and orange and gold, and smiled as a light breeze hit his arms. Before he knew it he was walking alongside Sam at a quick but steady pace, enjoying the feeling of morning dew on his bare feet.  
"I miss it." Cas said after around forty five minutes of comfortable silence. They were almost back to the bunker, and he had been to deep in thought to control it.  
"Miss what..." Sam asked carefully.  
"I miss the feeling of the air. The clouds in my wings. Flying is more like teleporting slowly. You don't see it, but you do feel it. This reminds me of flying..." He admitted sadly, rubbing his arm shyly.  
"Cas... You are flying..." Sam said comfortingly.  
"What do you mean?" He asked quietly.  
"I wanna show you something, hurry up." Sam said smiling, running up the hill behind the bunker. Slowly he led him up to a large tree, which had a rope ladder attached to the ground and the largest lower branch.  
"Climb up, I wanna show you this." Sam said smiling. Slowly he watched as Cas climbed up and sat down shakily on the branch. He followed quickly, then jumped to the next branch, extending a hand to Cas. He nervously took it and followed Sam, branch by branch. Finally they reached a spot where a branch was blocking their view of the sky. Cas noticed how there was a rope wrapped around the branch, and it was roped around the next highest branch, almost like a pulley.  
"Sam, what does this have to do with flying?" Cas asked quietly.  
"I want you to shut your eyes, breathe, and relax. Don't worry, you won't fall, I've got you." Sam said. Slowly he breathed in, then out, shutting his eyes and feeling the slight damp chill hit his arms again.  
"Now pull the rope, but don't open your eyes yet." Sam said smiling. Cas did as told, hearing the rustle of branches and rocking forward slightly. Instantly there was a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He smiled and went quiet as a warmth hit his shoulders and face, and he opened his eyes slowly. There he saw the rising sun starting to melt away the fog and warm the earth.  
"This is beautiful... But how am I flying?" He asked skeptically.  
"Close your eyes... The fog? It's just really low clouds. And the breeze? That's the air running through your wings. And the warmth is the feeling of breaking out of the clouds and finally feeling the sun on your skin." Sam said softly.  
"Thank you Sam... I-I enjoy... Flying..." Cas stuttered, putting a shaky hand over the hand on his shoulder and smiling.  
"Sam... How do we get down..." Cas asked suddenly.  
"Follow me, I'll help you." He said, climbing down one branch. Cas carefully followed, but his feet wouldn't touch the lower branch. Sam quickly stood up and grabbed the branch with one hand, pulling Cas down with his free arm. This continued for a few more branches before they were finally at the last branch.  
"Hold on to the branch, I wanna show you a trick!" Sam said enthusiastically. Cas couldn't respond before Sam went from sitting on the branch to hanging upside down. Cas wobbled, starting to fall, and copied Sam so he wouldn't. Sam just laughed as he saw the sheer terror and redness of Cas' face from being upside down. Quickly he flipped out of the tree, catching Cas in his arms as he fell off the branch ungracefully.  
"Hey, it's ok! Your fine! Just stand up!" Sam laughed, struggling to hold him up. Slowly he opened his eyes and stood up from where Sam was cradling him.  
"T-Thank you..." Cas stuttered, walking down the hill and inside with Sam behind him.  
"Sam? I thought of something I would like to try now that I'm human..." He said in a shy voice.  
"Uh- sure, what is it?" Sam asked.  
"Although I do enjoy burgers... I would like to try the things you eat. What Dean calls rabbit food?" Cas asked.  
"Well... Sure I guess." Sam said, opening the bunker door and following Cas inside.  
"Can I make it?" He asked hopefully. Sam smiled, laughing to himself about the fact that he was so eager.  
"Sure Cas, just don't wake up Dean." Sam said quietly.  
"What do you want?" Cas asked.  
"How about... Do you know how to make fruit salad?" Sam asked casually, trying not to sound to hopeful.  
"I don't believe I do." He answered sadly.  
"Alright, lets go change clothes and then I'll show you how." He said smiling. Once they were upstairs, Sam pulled out a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt that would fit Cas, then he pulled out a pair of jeans and a red plaid shirt for himself. He casually pulled off the shirt he was wearing and put on the new one, watching from the corner of his eye as Cas did the same. He stopped when Cas took off the sports pants and he saw what looked like a word carved into his inner thigh.  
"Cas?! Did you cut yourself?!" Sam snapped angrily, pointing to the word 'why' carved into his leg. Cas instantly flinched back.  
"No- it was on my vessel- I promise!" He said quickly, pulling the jeans on and flinching back more when Sam tried to get closer.  
"No- look I'm sorry I snapped at you- I was just surprised... But why didn't you heal it?" Sam asked, sitting down beside him.  
"Because of you Sam... I didn't heal it at first because I knew I would need to remember someday... Then when I couldn't save you from lucifer... I kept it out of guilt... And I never healed it..." He explained, keeping his head down. Sam gently put a hand above Cas' hand, pulled away, then hesitantly put his hand on Cas' hand completely. Cas let his fingers curl slightly to grip Sams, and they sat in silence for a minute. It was like a silent promise that he was forgiven. After a minute Sam stood up and finished changing clothes, and they a headed down to the kitchen.  
"Ok, ready to start?" Sam asked. Cas nodded, smiling up at the taller hunter.  
"Ok so we need..." Sam went silent, pulling out two clementines, two bananas, a bag of green grapes, and a box of strawberries from the fridge.  
"Ok, so first we do this." Sam said, picking up the bag of grapes and holding the bag under the sink. Cas watches as the water ran through the fruit, rinsing it off, before falling through the wholes in the bag. Sam turned off the water and shook the fruit, shaking out extra water, before putting the bag on a wooden cutting board.  
"Now these don't need to be cut because they're small enough already." Sam explained, starting to pull grapes of the stem and drop them into a cereal bowl. Cas copied him, putting his grapes into a different bowl.  
"Ok, now the clementines." Sam said, pulling the peal off. Cas copied him, although he did have some trouble at first. Sam pulled the fruit slices apart, and Cas copied him. After putting the fruit into the bowl they moved to the bananas.  
"Ok, now this one you have to use a knife on if you want clean-cut pieces, but bananas are soft, so you can use a butter knife." Sam explained. After that, they went to the last fruit, strawberries.  
"Ok, now this you have to be very careful with." Sam explained, rinsing the strawberries under the water, then pulling out a knife.  
"You have to cut these in half, and cut the leaves off. Now I know you're good with a knife in defense, but cooking, I'm not sure... Here, watch me." Sam said, chopping up half the strawberries and putting them in his bowl.  
"Can I try?" Cas asked bashfully.  
"Yeah, just be careful-"  
"Ow! This knife has developed a fault..." He muttered. Sam couldn't help but laugh.  
"Here, hold out that finger, it's not that bad, it's not even bleeding." Sam laughed, taking some Chapstick out of his pocket. He rubbed his finger on the tip and gently smudged it on his finger, then put the Chapstick back in his pocket.  
"See, it fills the cut and makes it heal quicker." Sam explained, rinsing the knife and finishing with the strawberries.  
"Thank you Sam. Next time I will be more careful." Cas said. They grabbed their bowls and went to the table, where Dean was sitting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I heard misha say at a con that he carved 'why' into his thigh with his brother and I was sad so I wrote that in.


	3. Chapter 3

"Morning you two..." Dean smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.  
"Shut up Dean!" Sam snapped, dragging Cas along into the living room.  
"Hey, I'm just saying! Cas, come over here." Dean called. Cas obediently walked back to the table, putting his bowl of fruit down.  
"Hey Cas... You should give Sam a kiss, right on the cheek. That's one way humans thank other people for something or show them gratitude." Dean explained smugly.  
"Thank you Dean, I will." Cas said quietly, walking back to the couch. Dean casually slipped his phone out, ready to take a picture to save for either blackmail or wedding pictures later on.  
"Sam, I would like to thank you again for teaching me how to make this breakfast." Cas said, before kissing him on the cheek. Dean quietly took a picture and saved it.  
"Oh- uh- I um- yeah- no problem- you're welcome- uh- yeah." Sam stuttered.  
"I-I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that..." Cas stuttered, putting a grape in his mouth quickly.  
"No, it's ok! I just wasn't expecting it..." Sam said quickly. They both ate silently before Cas spoke up.  
"I think I'll go upstairs now." He said quietly. As soon as he was up there he breathed a sigh of relief. He felt nervous and shaky down there.  
'Probably just a side effect of the human experience.' He thought to himself.  
"Cas? You ok buddy? You looked sick..." Dean said, walking in and shutting the door to Sams bedroom.  
"I'm just a bit shaky..." Cas said quietly.  
"You want your coat?" Dean asked sadly.  
"Yes, thank you. Can I have my whole outfit?" he asked carefully.  
"Yeah... Listen, I'm sorry I told you to kiss Sam, thats not actually what a guy does to show another guy appreciation." Dean admitted.  
"I gathered that by the look of fear in Sams eyes." Cas said sadly, looking to his lap.  
"Do you like Sam?" Dean asked quickly. Cas just ignored him and walked into the bathroom to change clothes. After walking out, he found that Dean was still sitting on the bed patiently.  
"I do not understand what you mean by 'like' Sam." Cas said finally.  
"I mean... Do you have a crush on him?" Dean tried.  
"You mean... Do I feel that I would like to have an intimate relationship with him?" Cas asked slowly.  
"Exactly!" Dean said, grinning.  
"What should I do?" Cas asked quickly.  
"Are you saying you do like him?" Dean said smiling.  
"I... Believe so, yes. Although I am not sure how to approach the situation..." he admitted. Again, he rubbed his hands together self consiously.  
"Um... Try holding his hand... That's a good step one." Dean suggested.  
"I will, but how?" He asked carefully.  
"Um... I have no idea... I usually just go immediately to- nevermind. Just spend some time with him and I'll be at the bar by 9 tonight." Dean promised. Cas studied his hands before finally giving up and nodding in his approval of the plan.  
"Alright! I'm going out now! Won't be back until tomorrow..." Dean said, shutting the door and laughing as he dodged a pillow that Sam threw at him.  
"Sam? Can we watch a movie?" Cas asked hopefully.  
"Um, sure I guess." Sam answered, sitting down on the couch with Cas. They quickly got a blanket and some popcorn, and both settled in as Sam turned it on. Cas was intruiged by something that was on currently. It was a movie that had just started.  
"Dude really? Lilo and Stitch? Thats a childrens-" Sam was cut off by a loud 'shhhhh' and he just watched as Cas' eyes remained glued to the screen. Near the end Cas was thinking about this blue alien. How he was just like Stitch.  
"This is my family. I found them all on my own. It is little... And broken... But still good... Yeah... Still good." He heard from the tv.  
"I think... Bobby was right..." He said quietly.  
"About what?" Sam asked.  
"About family. It doesn't end with blood." Cas said quietly, sliding his hand over towards Sams slowly. Sam looked towards his hand but didn't move away. Hesitantly, Cas put his pinky finger over Sams, then slowly two more fingers, then finally put his whole hand on top of Sams. Before Sam could ask about it, he put his thumb under Sams palm. Gently Sam rubbed his thumb along the side of Cas' hand, and gestured for him to move closer. When he did, Sam put the blanket across both of them, and started to lay back against the arm of the couch.  
"Sam? Are you tired?" Cas asked quietly, only to realize Sam was already almost asleep. Gently he nudged his shoulder, and Sam opened his arms.  
"Sam? You probably need sleep. Shouldn't I go upstairs?" Cas asked quickly.  
"Just come here already." Sam said chuckling, keeping his eyes shut. Cas quickly slipped off his shoes, socks, suit coat, and trench coat, then slid off Sams shoes and sock for him.  
"Jess, lay down." Sam grumbled sleepily. Cas obediantly laid down beside Sam, making his back face Sam so that he wouldn't feel awkward. Sam just pulled him closer, snuggling into his hair.  
'He's dreaming... He thinks I'm Jess... I can't hurt him...' Cas thought. He stayed quiet and didn't move until he fell asleep.

* * *

"Sam!" Cas yelled, shaking him again. Sam finally shot up, sweating.  
"Sam, you were dreaming again." Cas said quietly.  
"Thanks..." He muttered, standing up.  
"Where are you going?" He asked quickly. Sam shot him a glare that clearly said he was unhappy.  
"I'm gonna go take a shower so that we can go out and buy you some human stuff like a toothbrush and deodorant and stuff." Sam explained, walking upstairs.  
"Sam?" he called back.  
"What Cas?!" Sam snapped.  
"I'm sorry if I've done something wrong. I will stay home while you go for supplies." Cas said quietly. Sam nodded and stomped upstairs. The truth was that he wasn't mad at Cas, he was mad about Cas. About how he felt that shock go up his arm when their hands touched. About how he wanted to get Cas to kiss him again. He was mad because he knew Dean was telling him to do this, and it wasn't what Cas thought of. And how Cas would never feel the same.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> Cas admits to witnessing a rape

As soon as Dean was back Sam took the impala and drove out. Dean walked in to find Cas was no where. He looked everywhere before finally finding him in his bedroom.  
"Cas? Why are you in my room?" Dean asked quietly. Cas didn't respond, instead he handed him a note and pulled his trench coat tighter to him.  
"Sam left to get me supplies for human life and he was mad, he wants to get rid of me." Dean read.  
"Cas? Did he really- ok- you know what? I'm gonna go have a talk with him. You get some rest ok?" Dean said, leaving the room. Immediately he opened his phone and dialed Sams number, then walked outside.  
"What Dean?!" Sam snapped.  
"You get you sorry ass back here you son of a bitch or I swear to whatever God there is that I will hurt you when you get back here." Dean snapped.  
"Dean, I'm going out to get some stuff for Cas. I'll be back when I'm done." Sam snapped, hanging up. Dean quickly stormed back in, shutting the door and locking it. He warmed up a burger and went upstairs, to find Cas was on his side, curled into himself, and seemed to be trying to hide his face.  
"Cas, what happened?" Dean asked quietly. Quickly Cas explained everything that had happened, and Dean listened carefully.  
"Well, you know what, if Sam doesn't feel the same then were gonna go out to the bar, and I'm gonna get you a beer, and were gonna get so drunk that we laugh until we can't walk straight." Dean promised. He tried to hand him the burger, but he just turned away from it.  
"I'm not leaving here until you eat at least one bite." Dean said sternly.  
"Good. I don't want you to leave." Cas answered, turning towards Dean. He carefully put his head up on the pillow, and Dean carefully put an arm around him, and put the food on the side table.  
"Don't let him get rid of me." Cas choked out, burying his face in Deans shirt. Dean carefully pulled him closer.  
"I promise you Castiel, no one is getting rid of you. Your our family." Dean said, pulling his wallet out. Cas watched as Dean pulled out a brown-colored photo, and handed it to him. He looked carefully to see Bobby, Jo, Ellen, Sam, Dean, and himself, all huddled together in a group photo.  
"This is our family Cas, it's your family too." Dean said quietly.  
"This is my family... I found it all on my own... It's little and broken... But still good..." Cas said, quoting the movie he had seen last night.  
"Yeah Cas, still good." Dean said smiling, pulling him closer. Around 2 was when he heard his phone go off.  
"What." Dean said angrily.  
"I'm locked out Dean, let me in." Sam snapped.  
"Nah." Dean said casually, hanging up.   
"Its ok Cas, I'm sure Sam liked you." Dean assured him. After another four calls from Sam, Dean finally went downstairs, unlocked the door, and stormed back upstairs.  
"What the hell man?! What is wrong with you?!" Sam yelled, picking up a few bags and dropping them inside the door. Dean ignored him, slamming the door to his room and getting back on the bed.  
"Dean?" Cas asked, keeping his eyes shut.  
"Yeah it's me." Dean answered, putting an arm around him protectively.  
"Dean? Where's Cas?" Sam asked, bursting into the room.  
"Get out." Dean said plainly, not moving from where Cas had put his head on Deans chest. Sam just stared in shock for a minute before responding.  
"What's going on here?!" Sam yelled.  
"None of your freakin business." Dean snapped.  
"Um, I think it is!" Sam yelled.  
"Didn't he say to get the fuck out?!" Cas snapped, not opening his eyes. They both looked in shock at him.  
"Did I mumble? Get the fuck out!" Cas yelled.  
"Wow Sam, you better listen to him." Dean said in shock.  
"I... Cas can talk to Dean for a second... I'll leave after that." Sam said in shock.  
"Fine." Cas said quietly, moving away from Dean so he could get up.  
"Dean? What's wrong with Cas?" Sam asked once they were out in the hall.  
"Oh I don't know Sammy, maybe you hurt his new feelings." Dean snapped.  
"What did I do?! Your the one using him!" Sam snapped back.  
"Using him?! For what?!" Dean asked angrily.  
"To mess with me! Your telling him to kiss me and hold my hand and cuddle up to me and it's freakin annoying!" Sam yelled. Dean stepped back, looking in the door to see Cas sitting up, staring at the doorway.  
"No Cas-" Sam started. He jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom, locking the door quickly and turning on the water in the sink, although they could still hear the muffled crying.  
"Wow. Just- wow. I honestly didn't think you could be that bone dead stupid Sammy." Dean said, walking in his room and slamming the door in Sams face.  
"Cas, it's just me, let me in." Dean said quietly. Sam listened as he heard the snap of a lock and a door opening, then the water turning off, followed by crying.  
"I know, I'm sorry, it's ok now, I'm right here, your gonna be fine." Dean repeated over and over, holding his shivering friend closer on the floor. Carefully he stood up and moved Cas to the bed, where he still hadn't let go of Dean, still sobbing.  
"You said he liked me." Cas whimpered.  
"I thought he did!" Dean said sadly, hugging him tighter. Sam listened in shock as Cas kept crying, eventually quieting down after about an hour. Sam had sat down in the hall, his face in his knees, thinking over what had happened. Finally he went downstairs, filled a cooler with ice, and put some burgers and beer in it. He took it upstairs and opened the door, seeing Deans eyes snap open.  
"Get out-" Dean started.  
"Please... I'm just bringing him some food..." Sam said quietly, pushing the cooler over to the side of the bed and walking away, leaving the door open just enough to see Cas and Dean. Quietly he laid a pillow and blanket out in the hall and laid down, watching Cas. After about a day of nothing but watching them, eating, and using the bathroom once or twice, he was getting worried. Cas still hadn't eaten, and all he would do is nod yes or no to signal when he was awake.  
"Dean, I need to see him." Sam said quietly from the hall.  
"And I'm fine with that, when he says it's ok." Dean answered, going back to sleep.  
"Cas? Can I talk to you? Please... I need to say something..." Sam pleaded, knowing he was awake. After a minute Cas nodded, and Sam immediately ran into the room. Before he could say anything he ran to Cas and hugged him. He was expecting him to hug back, but he didn't. Dean had woken up now and gave Cas an encouraging nod before leaving the room.  
"I thought it was a joke Cas. I thought Dean was just trying to make me uncomfortable. I really do like you. I thought you didn't like me. Which is why I got mad. I didn't think you even knew what that was. And that made me want it to stop. I didn't want false hope. But now that I know it wasn't fake, I want you to know that... I need you to eat at least... I don't want you to get sick... Please just eat something, for me." Sam pleaded. Instead of responding Cas grabbed Sam in a tight hug, and slowly Sam hugged him back. Dean walked back in, and saw what was going on.  
"Hey Cas, why don't you and Sam go to his room. Doing nothing is boring so I'm gonna go out and hit the bar. You guys can do... Whatever... And I left some stuff on the counter for Sam..." Dean nodded suggestively, running out before got yelled at.  
"Ok... Listen, I need a shower, so you wait for me on my bed and we can watch a movie on the laptop later tonight ok?" Sam said quickly, running out of the room. Cas followed him quickly, but just missed him as he saw the bathroom door shut. As soon as he heard the shower turn on he knew he had to act fast. If he didn't make a move now then it would go unsaid. Quickly he took off his clothes and put on a black t-shirt and gym pants. Then he opened the bathroom door and pulled open the shower curtain. Before Sam could say anything, Cas grabbed his face and kissed him. Sam panicked at first, realizing he was naked, but gave up within seconds. Cautiously he put his hands on either side of Cas' face, pulling him closer. It seemed like hours and seconds at the same time until they broke apart.  
"I-I love you too Sam." Cas stuttered, smiling slightly. A real smile, one Sam had never seen before.   
"I didnt say I was in love with you." Sam grinned.  
"Then your not?" Cas asked sadly.  
"I didnt say that." Sam smirked, quickly pulling him into the shower and pulling off his shirt.  
"Sam- what are you doing- Sam stop- no!" Cas yelled panicked, stumbling backwards and running out of the shower.  
"Cas what's wrong? I was just gonna take of your clothes so they don't get wet." Sam explained. He thought for a second before realizing how they may have seemed for Cas, and tried to reassure him.  
"Cas, I promise, nothing bad ok? Come here, you need to bathe anyway." Sam insisted, but Cas stayed frozen in the corner.  
"Cas? What's wrong?" Sam asked, still hiding behind the curtain.  
"I-I don't like t-that Sam, it's painful..." He stuttered, eyes still staring straight forward, almost like he was hypnotized.  
"Cas what are you talking about, just come here ok?" Sam said, watching as he hesitantly got closer.  
"There, now take off your pants, but leave the rest on if it makes you more comfortable." Sam smiled, letting Cas step in and slowly get closer. Sam almost laughed at how scared Cas looked, standing in the shower with his boxers on, but decided it wasn't the best time.  
"Here, I'll just get behind you to make you feel better." Sam said.  
"No, I- lets- um- I'm fine..." Cas stuttered.  
"Cas what's wrong?" Sam asked carefully.  
"Can we talk about it later?" Cas asked quietly.  
"Yeah..." Sam answered quietly, letting Cas get under the water.

* * *

They were back in the room now. Cas had on his trench coat, a black t-shirt, and a pair of flannel, plaid, dark green pants. Sam had on a black t-shirt and a similar pair of pants.  
"Cas? Can you come over here?" Sam asked carefully, putting a CD into the laptop and hitting play. Music seemed to help them both stay asleep.  
"Cas... Why were you so freaked out by the shower?" Sam asked as Cas laid down beside him.  
"Because you... Weren't wearing clothes..." Cas said slowly.  
"That it? It seemed like more than that..." Sam said quietly.  
"I'm a virgin and you scared me." Cas admitted, blushing and bowing his head down. Sam pulled him in so his head was on Sams chest.  
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to freak you out..." Sam said quietly. Cas nodded, but almost immediately started to cry.  
"Cas? What's wrong? Hey buddy, look at me, you ok?" Sam asked, raising his chin so he could look at him.  
"They hurt him Sam- I don't know why- they grabbed him- and beat him- and got on top of him- and they said if he screamed they would make it hurt more- and they took off his clothes and... They raped him Sam! There were five of them! They hurt him- and they left him there... In an alley behind a club... I tried to stop them but one of them kept punching me until they were done... They took my phone and smashed it before they left so I couldn't call for help! And- he said it hurt so much..." Cas shuddered, sobbing into Sams shirt. Sam held him tighter, running his fingers through his hair until he had calmed down  
"Cas look at me, I will never let that happen again. And you know what? If it does, I will personally kill whoever does that to you." Sam promised, kissing Cas on the lips quickly, and wiping the tears off with his thumb.  
"Thank you Sam... I-I know I'm safe here... I just feel... Scared sometimes..." Cas admitted, putting his face on Sams chest.  
"Your safe now. I promise. Now go to sleep, we need to rest." Sam said quietly.  
"I love you Sam." Cas mumbled before drifting off to sleep  
"I love you too Cas. I always have." Sam whispered, before falling asleep to the feeling of Cas curled into his chest.


End file.
